Deschooling Time.
Contemplating my personal connection with time and how it fits into my journey of self-discovery and learning.
After joining a wonderful workshop with the delightful Lucy Aitkenread just about a week ago, where we explored the concept of Deschooling Time, my mind has been filled with reflections on my own connection with time and how it fits into our journey of deschooling.
Lucy shared with the group Akilah Richard’s definition of Deschooling Time as
“Shedding the programming and habits that resulted from other peoples agency over our time, body, thoughts and actions.”
Exploring the concept of time, reflecting on our inner convictions, and expressing our challenges and emotions related to time, sparked a new perspective within me. It dawned on me that as a family, Justin and I have been wholeheartedly dedicated to crafting a life that resonates with our personal beliefs and how we perceive time. From the very beginning of our journey together, we've actively embraced a lifestyle that reflects our values and our unique relationship with time. Every aspect of our lives, from our daily actions to our fundamental principles, has been a conscious effort to retain control over our own time and destiny.
Eleven years ago, our journey took a wonderful turn when we discovered that we were expecting our first child. Right from the beginning, we knew deep in our hearts that we desired a life filled with precious moments, a life where we could cherish each moment and have control over our time. Our dream was to create not only a thriving business but also a close-knit community – a life where we could love, learn, and grow together while earning a living.
This decision marked a significant shift in our daily priorities, the first footsteps on a path that would lead us to a lifestyle reflecting our core beliefs. A life woven with threads of creativity, genuine connections, and a strong sense of community. It was about embracing simplicity and making room for the things that truly matter. While we may not have known the exact destination or appearance of this journey, we were crystal clear about how we wanted it to resonate with us. And so, this was the beginning of it all – the starting point of our beautiful adventure.
After the workshop with Lucy, I decided to take a leisurely stroll, giving myself the chance to reflect, roam around, and discover a fresh spot (which has become my beloved activity ever since I moved to this new county). And that night, I found solace in my journal, pondering over the beautiful journey of how our family has embraced a more relaxed sense of time over the years. I'm excited to share a few of these moments with you:
We've built a wonderful business that lets us be our own bosses, embracing a lifestyle that brings joy. It's all about flexibility and constant growth, giving us the freedom to be there for each other and our kids. We share responsibilities, find time to relax, play, and most importantly, experience a deep sense of togetherness and meaning.
We've embraced the wonderful journey of home education. Our kids haven't experienced traditional schooling. Right from the start, we chose to keep going just the way we were – enjoying life, discovering, and growing at our own comfortable speed. It's been a profound shift for both Justin and I, a true awakening to a different way of approaching education. Home education empowers us to break free from rigid timelines and preconceived notions about children's development. It's a departure from comparing and separating, and instead, it's about seamlessly weaving learning into our everyday lives. We've embraced a pace that feels right for us, honouring our body's needs for nourishment, rest, and movement. Mornings greet us gently, allowing each of us to wake naturally and begin our day in our own unique rhythms. The beauty of home education lies in the freedom to shape our learning journey as we see fit. We're no longer confined by someone else's schedule or curriculum. This autonomy has not only transformed how we learn but has also deepened the bonds that tie us together as a family. Our relationship with time has blossomed, and in turn, our collective growth and learning have taken on a beautiful new meaning.
Every January, our family gathers together to mark out special moments on our calendars. Each month, we eagerly await a long weekend away, spanning from Thursday night until Monday morning, when we set aside everything else to come together for an adventure. And that's not all – once or twice a year, we embark on a two to three-week journey in our beloved old caravan, embracing the call of adventure. When we step away from the familiarity of home, when we distance ourselves from obligations and responsibilities, we find a wonderful sense of freedom. It's a chance to fully embrace the present moment without the weight of plans or expectations. During these times, we don't follow an agenda, nor do we set any demands. Instead, we simply enjoy a prolonged weekend where we can rest and engage in joyful activities as a united family. This beautiful tradition gifts us with precious moments of unhurried togetherness, allowing us to rekindle our bonds and replenish our energies. It becomes our sanctuary every month, enabling us to tackle life's bustling periods with a renewed spirit, secure in the knowledge that we have set aside these moments to nourish ourselves.
We all carve out time for the things we love, our hobbies, and what interests us – that's incredibly valuable. Balancing home educating and parenting can easily absorb all our time if we allow it, but it's essential to remember that this journey belongs to you as well. Don't forget to put your own interests first sometimes: indulge in some "me time," explore new activities, and take care of yourself in all the ways that matter. This is not just important for you, but also for your kids to see. Just like them, you're on a learning and growing path too. You have your own desires and passions beyond your role in the family. It's not necessary to put aside your needs in order to give your children an education.
The Gentle Art of Saying No. It's incredibly tempting to be carried away by the multitude of exciting opportunities available to us as home educators. From filling our days with enriching activities to visiting family and friends, arranging playdates, and hosting sleepovers. The fear of missing out often lingers, but I've made a deliberate choice to release that worry. I've come to realize that simplifying our schedule and allowing unstructured moments to unfold brings tremendous benefits to us all. At present, we don't engage in evening or weekend clubs or organised events. This intentional decision lends an unhurried and more relaxed quality to our mealtimes and bedtime routines (apart from the extra trips to the bathroom, extreme thirst, unexpected bouts of hunger, and the search for that special snuggly toy just before bedtime.) Our weekends remain free, offering us the chance to rest, recharge, engage in play, and reconnect with loved ones. I've made it a practice to steer clear of the Facebook home ed groups. Instead, I opt to explore activities and outings only when our children express genuine interest. They attend our home education sessions twice a week, enjoying ample time with friends, embracing new experiences, collaborating on ventures, and embarking on exciting journeys. This arrangement grants me pockets of childfree time to focus on work, while the rest of the week unfolds according to our individual interests. We've designated Fridays as our cherished Family Adventure Day, a day we eagerly anticipate each week. It's a time to venture into uncharted territories, immerse ourselves in nature's beauty, visit captivating museums, or whatever else calls out to us. By reserving this time, we ensure that we can continually nurture our passions and pursuits together.
We have a beautiful connection with the ever-changing seasons and their unique energies. These seasonal rhythms set the natural pace for how we go through our days together. During autumn and spring, a fresh burst of energy arrives. This is when we kickstart new work projects, delve into our creative pursuits, and follow paths of curiosity. We dedicate plenty of time to immerse ourselves in nature through extensive hikes and adventurous trips in our caravan. Summer and winter bring moments of rest and rejuvenation. Summer begins gently and then picks up it’s pace as we prepare for a new term at Forest School and Embers Learning Community. During these times, we take it easy, reconnect with our loved ones, and seek out tranquil spots in nature to find solace away from the crowds. Winter invites us to get cosy, embrace the darkness, and take a break. With more time spent at home, we dive into personal projects, explore subjects that interest us, and indulge in activities like cooking, crafting, and watching movies together. The kids have more interest in their gaming and online projects this time of year and even though the weather might be cold and damp, we make sure to take brisk walks for that much-needed light and fresh air. By embracing the changing seasons and tapping into their inherent energies, as well as your own, the year unfolds with grace and ease. We don't fret if, during spring, we're out swimming in rivers or on extended trips instead of focusing solely on our more academic interests. Every experience is a chance to learn, and we trust both our own and our children's innate abilities to learn at their own pace. We navigate our days in a way that feels right, without undue pressure, always prioritizing connections and relationships. Instead of working against a clock or calendar, we align ourselves with nature's rhythms and our own natural energy whenever possible.
We believe in the journey, in having faith that the universe supports us, even during moments when it might not seem that way. This belief brings warmth to our hearts and helps us cherish every step of the way, embracing whatever life brings our direction. Just like the changing seasons, our lives shift and evolve, and we treat ourselves with a touch of kindness as we navigate this beautiful path. We understand that time isn't a straight line with a final destination; it's a web that connects all our moments, reminding us that it's the entire journey that truly matters.
“Often when you think you’re at the end of something, you’re at the beginning of something else. Every end is a new beginning.” - Fred Rogers
I'm sharing these thoughts with you today, hoping to introduce a fresh perspective on the concept of time, like Lucy did for me. My intention is to inspire you to take a moment to contemplate how you navigate through your days. Let's shine a little brightness on the challenging aspects of our journey through home education, parenting, and simply living life to the fullest.
It's important to note that there's no one-size-fits-all approach here, and my own thoughts are continuously evolving. Our days are often packed and bustling, filled with moments of haste and urgency. There are times when it seems like we haven't accomplished much. Yet, this is the essence of life – the ebb and flow of experiences that shape our path.
Unravelling the idea of deschooling time, amidst a tapestry of beliefs and past conditioning, can be quite the undertaking. I'm curious to know your perspective on this notion. How does deschooling time resonate with your life at this moment, or how do you envision it fitting into your unique journey? Your insights are truly valued and appreciated.
Until next time,
P.S
If you would like to find out more about the Deschooling Time workshop that I took part in, amongst many other offerings, head over to Instagram and follow Lucy.
P.P.S
I’m currently reading this.
I love this piece because we see and do things similarly. We take things slow and deliberate when we can. Have you read Saving Time by Jenny Odell? It breaks down the construct of time in our history and reprogram what time means to us.
I love the way you have offered a glimpse into the layers of attuned flexibility that your life/family walks with. I relate to each invitation of perception and fully agree that every family will have their own harmonic flow. Time pressure feels foreign to my heart, as does imposed expectations from culture. It has been quite a journey forging a pathway that deeply reflects my Wholeness. It feels good to hear others doing the same, because it can sure feel like Im the only one for miles!!!