I love how you phrased this as the wobble! I think about this transition time as cocooning. My eldest is 14.5 now and I’m starting to see him emerging just a bit, but that transition away from the things they loved as children to take on a fully teenage persona can be tough. Last week he told me he’s ready to pass on all his LEGO to his siblings, which was a big deal since he has been such a LEGO lover.
Thanks also for the shout out! It’s lovely to have this community here, talking about unschooling experiences that don’t get talked about enough.
🥹 Yes! When they hand on their beloved toys! Our children are 12, 9 & 6 and we have felt such a shift recently, like we've entered a new chapter of unschooling and parenting...and life in general! It's very exciting, wobbles and all!
This community is amazing, I connect with new people each day I log on. Thanks for being part of the conversation xx
We are in the midst of the Secondary School Wobble ourselves right now! My eldest is twelve and is feeling left out as many of her friends are switching to normative schooling. That is not a option for us right now; so how to deal with her desire for change *and* my growing fatigue and changing needs?
Such a timely post for us. I'm relieved to hear that this is a common experience at this point in homeschooling life!
Yes, you're not alone! It's hard when their friends are heading off to school isn't it? A shift seems to occur for them as well as us at twelve doesn't it? Hopefully the start of a new chapter if your journey! I don't have any answers but you're not alone, give it some time to evolve and don't be afraid to change things up a bit (for you both)
Beautifully written. Have for sure seen the shift in my own kids around 12-13, then again by mid teen years! It’s so cool watching them change & grow & important for us to check in with our own needs as well. 🧡
Agnes is 12 and we've felt such a shift recently, it's so exciting. I love reading your thoughts on the teenage years, they always excite me! So much positivity 🙌 I'm here for it all!
A great reminder of what can (and often) happens when a child is cleaved off from the nuclear family and finds himself suddenly socialized by his peers. These dynamics are something I hear of anytime I talk to friends who have their kids in more "traditional" systems. I am always rather shocked by the disconnect - tweens in therapy and/or on meds. No judgements here, but it's certainly not our normal.
But I can definitely relate to the anxiety around high school diploma vs GED (the American equivalent I presume). You want to make sure you're setting them up for success. I find comfort though in knowing that there are dozens of kids in his homeschool co-op who are on the same path. We're not alone!
Thanks for sharing your thoughts Mark 🙏 That book has been on my reading wish list for a while!
I too take great comfort in our home ed community and value the opportunity to share fleeting worries or doubts we all have as parents (on so many things, not just homeschooling!)
Our kids have never been to school and so far have never wanted to (except to get a cute school uniform 😝 so I picked her up one and she wears it happily out and about! Oh to be six!) But I do see it happen for many young people, especially those the same age as our kids...12 seems to be the age!
And many parents are tired and burnt out trying to parent and educate their children and often trying to make an income too. It's hard work! But like you said, so often we take a other look at the alternative and the wobbles disappear!
I've not had secondary school wobbles as such, I've certainly not considered sending my 12 year old to school but I've certainly had a GCSEs vs High School Diploma wobble. My son is autistic and even setting a placement test on an educational app fills him with such anxiety that he cries. So many people say that GCSE's look better, are better. But are they better if it puts a child's mental health at risk, if they stress a child out so much that they are in tears?!
We've decided to go with the High School Diploma because there's no exams unless we want to set them, and C is so excited at the prospect of the electives he's thinking about! We made some light plans a few days ago, and watching him think about what the subjects could entail and jump around at the thought of building a robot with his Dad or going on a field trip to the Tower of London with me was just thrilling!
I just had a feeling of calm, and a sense of knowing that we're going to be ok.
I love how you phrased this as the wobble! I think about this transition time as cocooning. My eldest is 14.5 now and I’m starting to see him emerging just a bit, but that transition away from the things they loved as children to take on a fully teenage persona can be tough. Last week he told me he’s ready to pass on all his LEGO to his siblings, which was a big deal since he has been such a LEGO lover.
Thanks also for the shout out! It’s lovely to have this community here, talking about unschooling experiences that don’t get talked about enough.
🥹 Yes! When they hand on their beloved toys! Our children are 12, 9 & 6 and we have felt such a shift recently, like we've entered a new chapter of unschooling and parenting...and life in general! It's very exciting, wobbles and all!
This community is amazing, I connect with new people each day I log on. Thanks for being part of the conversation xx
We are in the midst of the Secondary School Wobble ourselves right now! My eldest is twelve and is feeling left out as many of her friends are switching to normative schooling. That is not a option for us right now; so how to deal with her desire for change *and* my growing fatigue and changing needs?
Such a timely post for us. I'm relieved to hear that this is a common experience at this point in homeschooling life!
Yes, you're not alone! It's hard when their friends are heading off to school isn't it? A shift seems to occur for them as well as us at twelve doesn't it? Hopefully the start of a new chapter if your journey! I don't have any answers but you're not alone, give it some time to evolve and don't be afraid to change things up a bit (for you both)
Thank you for the encouragement! It's so important to remember that homeschooling is about freedom, not about restriction.
Absolutely!
Beautifully written. Have for sure seen the shift in my own kids around 12-13, then again by mid teen years! It’s so cool watching them change & grow & important for us to check in with our own needs as well. 🧡
Agnes is 12 and we've felt such a shift recently, it's so exciting. I love reading your thoughts on the teenage years, they always excite me! So much positivity 🙌 I'm here for it all!
A timely post, as we hit a bit of a wobble this month (our son is 12). Bear in mind...the destabilization came from me; not him ; )
But then I calmed down, and we are now reading this book together as a family at night:
https://www.amazon.com/dp/0375760288?psc=1&ref=ppx_yo2ov_dt_b_product_details
A great reminder of what can (and often) happens when a child is cleaved off from the nuclear family and finds himself suddenly socialized by his peers. These dynamics are something I hear of anytime I talk to friends who have their kids in more "traditional" systems. I am always rather shocked by the disconnect - tweens in therapy and/or on meds. No judgements here, but it's certainly not our normal.
But I can definitely relate to the anxiety around high school diploma vs GED (the American equivalent I presume). You want to make sure you're setting them up for success. I find comfort though in knowing that there are dozens of kids in his homeschool co-op who are on the same path. We're not alone!
Thanks for sharing your thoughts Mark 🙏 That book has been on my reading wish list for a while!
I too take great comfort in our home ed community and value the opportunity to share fleeting worries or doubts we all have as parents (on so many things, not just homeschooling!)
Our kids have never been to school and so far have never wanted to (except to get a cute school uniform 😝 so I picked her up one and she wears it happily out and about! Oh to be six!) But I do see it happen for many young people, especially those the same age as our kids...12 seems to be the age!
And many parents are tired and burnt out trying to parent and educate their children and often trying to make an income too. It's hard work! But like you said, so often we take a other look at the alternative and the wobbles disappear!
I've not had secondary school wobbles as such, I've certainly not considered sending my 12 year old to school but I've certainly had a GCSEs vs High School Diploma wobble. My son is autistic and even setting a placement test on an educational app fills him with such anxiety that he cries. So many people say that GCSE's look better, are better. But are they better if it puts a child's mental health at risk, if they stress a child out so much that they are in tears?!
We've decided to go with the High School Diploma because there's no exams unless we want to set them, and C is so excited at the prospect of the electives he's thinking about! We made some light plans a few days ago, and watching him think about what the subjects could entail and jump around at the thought of building a robot with his Dad or going on a field trip to the Tower of London with me was just thrilling!
I just had a feeling of calm, and a sense of knowing that we're going to be ok.
Thanks for sharing your thoughts Emma 🙏 I would be interested to hear more about the highschool diploma Vs GCSE!