Nurturing Your Energy for the Unschooling Journey
A gentle guide.
Hi there! I'm Elizabeth, a mum of three in South Wiltshire, UK. With a degree in Education and over 20 years of experience supporting children and families, these days I’m building a learning community and forest school and unschooling our children alongside my husband, Justin. Join me for insights into our unschooling lifestyle, part time travel, community building and embracing seasonal rhythms in my motherhood journey.
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Hey there, friends,
Today, let's chat about the ebb and flow of energy in our lives, especially as we navigate the distinctive path of unschooling and home education. In our twelve-year journey (our children have never been to school), there were times when I felt worn down, burnt out, and drained. Life threw big challenges our way – family losses, moving houses, launching new businesses, mental health struggles, and the everyday wear and tear of illnesses, adjusting to new siblings, work changes, and sleepless nights.
Through it all, I've learned when to rest and when to push, when to pause and when to stop, when to seek help and when to retreat for some alone time. Our unique journey may differ for each of us, but it's essential to remember that it's a marathon, not a sprint. Understanding what fuels and drains our energy can help sustain us for the adventure that lies ahead.
An energy giver is like a warm hug for your soul. It's something or someone that lifts your spirits, brings joy, and leaves you feeling recharged and inspired. It's the cosy cup of tea, a heart warming conversation, or moments of laughter with loved ones.
On the flip side, an energy taker is like a little energy vampire. It could be a task, a situation, or even a person that leaves you feeling drained, tired, and a bit low. It's that demanding project, a stressful encounter, or anything that seems to absorb more energy than it gives.
In simple terms, energy givers fill your cup, while energy takers might leave it a bit emptier.
It's about tuning in to what nourishes your soul and finding areas that could use a little realignment in your life. Take a moment to reflect on what you consider as your personal energy boosters and drainers. Each person's list is unique, but here are mine to give you an idea:
My Energy Givers:
Sunlight: Getting some natural light is the unsung hero of my day. A quick walk with the dogs, a coffee on the step or a comfy seat by a window can help boost my energy.
Water: Staying hydrated—simple, yet I always overlook this one. I'm trying hard to hydrate with more water and herbal teas and a little less tea and coffee….but I still have to have my tea and coffee as part of my morning ritual!
Sleep and Rest: Establishing a sleep routine for a steady energy flow has been a game changer. Getting the sleep I need dictates how my day can unfold. Many nights I don't get enough sleep so resting during the day, going to bed earlier or even sleeping in on the days that I can, all helps. Our kids are older now at 6, 9 and 12 so this is ever so slowly becoming easier after years of broken sleep and painfully early mornings.
Nature and Fresh Air: For me, connecting with nature is my biggest energy giver. It clears my head and calms my soul. I know for me, a little time in nature everyday is vital. Even if it's just stepping into the garden for a mooch about to see how the plants are getting on.
Wholefoods and Eating Regularly: Fuelling my body with wholesome foods and eating regularly are usually the first two things that drop off my priority list when I'm feeling burnt out, busy or overwhelmed but they're the two things that can give the quickest boost to my energy levels. I've been trying to keep healthy snacks on hand for us all to nibble throughout the day- things like nuts, seeds, fruits, veggies and dips.
Music: Sometimes music can give me energy, boost my mood and change up the atmosphere nicely but sometimes when I'm feeling overwhelmed, this can also be an energy taker as I'm sensitive to noise.
Connection: When I'm tired or run down, I tend to retreat and disconnect but connecting with others- friends in person, online or on the phone, family, partners, our children and online communities can all boost my energy for the journey. But in saying that, there are times I lean into the desire and need to be alone. As a mother I can feel touched-out and overstimulated. We live, learn and work together as a family so some time alone can be very welcome!
Time To Nurture Your Own Hobbies and Interests: This is something Justin and I have been working on over the past couple of years. It's so important for us to have our own interests. It's such great role modelling for our children and by doing so shows how great adulting can be! How we can prioritise our own joy and pleasure along with the responsibilities and struggles that life has to offer.
My Energy Takers:
Screen Time: Taking a break and letting my mind breathe. The social media comparison trap is real and oh-so-easy to fall into! With a flood of offerings for home educators on Facebook, I've found it overwhelming and rarely use it. Daily news scrolling and a barrage of messages can be energy-draining. Making a deliberate choice to limit the information I consume has been a game-changer for preserving my energy. I've turned off all notifications on my phone during the day except for WhatsApp and put it on "do not disturb" from 8 pm every night.
Fear: Confronting fears gently, acknowledging them and letting them go is something I've explored a lot over the past year through therapy. It's given me so much more space and energy to invest in my future and allows me to enjoy the present moment.
Overworking: Pacing myself; it's a marathon, remember? Not everything has to be finished or even started each day. It's ok to stop if you need to stop. Balancing home educating and running a business is hard but learning when to pause and rest was even harder! It's a huge energy giver when you know where to direct your energy and when.
Focusing on the Past: Remembering to be present; the past is a guide, not a dwelling place.
Lack of Movement: Keeping my body moving is essential to feeling energised. I try to jump on the yoga mat for a quick 15 minutes flow each morning and a stroll with the dogs each evening. I also love to take longer hikes, exploring somewhere new, a sure fire way to boost my energy!
Alcohol: Three years ago, I made the best decision—I gave up alcohol. It brought me more energy, improved sleep, and reduced anxiety, making my parenting and relationships so much better!
Mess and Clutter: A messy, cluttered space really zaps my energy, but with our busy lives, it's hard to keep things in order. A year ago, when we moved, we shed a bunch of stuff, and it felt so liberating! Now, we tackle a mini declutter each month, getting rid of what we don't need. It makes our daily clean-up faster and simpler. We also try to "reset" the house on Sundays for the week ahead, but honestly, it's a never-ending tussle between me, the laundry pile, the dishwasher, and Edith's ever-growing box of Barbies! Striking a balance between accepting there will always be some mess and recognising I feel better with less clutter is the ongoing challenge!
As the seasons of nature and life ebb and flow, so will your energy. Acknowledge it. Embrace it. Tell me, what influences your energy? How do you feel right now?
The unschooling demands a lot from us—patience, creativity, and a reservoir of energy to name a few. Constantly adapting to our children's learning styles, addressing their needs, and navigating the uncertainties can leave us feeling drained. It's essential to practice self-compassion, recognising that it's okay to feel tired, and it's okay to take a step back.
Here are five simple ways to lift your energies, you may connect with some ideas and not with others. Take what feels good and leave the rest:
Mindful Moments: Take short breaks to recharge. Sit and have tea or glass of water. Maybe step outside to feel the sun or cold air on your face, watch the rain from the window. Pause. Then continue. These moments have the power to accumulate through the day and over the week.
Connect With Community: Share experiences and support with other home educators and parents in person or online. Reach out to friends and family. Say yes to offers of help and say no with love when you don’t want to do something.
Spread The Load: It's okay to ask for help; you don't have to do it all alone. Outsource subjects you find challenging, find a learning community or forest school where your children can spend the day making time for you to work, get jobs done, enjoy yourself or rest. Whatever you need. Ask family or friends to help so you can take some time out. Simplify your schedule where possible, pare back on what you are doing, make space in your week with no plans, no where to be.
Celebrate Your Wins, Big or Small: Take a moment to recognise your achievements, even the tiny ones. What you're doing is truly amazing! And on those tough days, be kind to yourself – a little self-compassion goes a long way.
Revisit Your Why: Take a moment to remember the joys and reasons that led you to unschool, to home educate, to craft a unique path for your family. It's a powerful motivator that may evolve or sometimes get lost in the journey—bring it back to light.
In this unschooling marathon, it's not about speed; it's about enduring and, hopefully, enjoying the journey. Take care of your energy, be kind to yourself, and find joy in each step—even the messy, tiring, and frustrating ones. It's okay for things to feel not okay. It's okay to pause. It's okay to make changes. It's okay to shift from home education to school for whatever reason! It's okay to love it one minute and find it challenging the next; that's life. Taking a moment to tune into your energy givers and takers could perhaps be a small way to sustain yourself for the journey ahead.
Thank you for reading along, for being here, for helping to grow and strengthen this beautiful community. I would love to hear about your own experiences. What are your energy givers and takers? What season of your life, parenthood or the homeschooling journey do you find yourself in these days? I would love to hear. Let’s continue the conversation.
Until next time…..
Warmest wishes,
P.S
Check out some of my related posts that tie into this conversation:
P.P.S
My midmorning coffee decorated by Barney boosted my energy in more than one way!
I'm noise sensitive too Elizabeth. I recently got a pair of Loop earplugs and they've been a game changer for me. I use them to drown out background noise when reading and writing and found it a lovely way to focus my attention. Time in nature, good books and entering flow state whilst writing are my biggest cup fillers 💛
I appreciate your reflections here! I can definitely relate, down to a similar happy but exhausted photo on the day of #3’s birth. :)